The I Ain't Never Heard You Play No Blues

Steve Goodman

My baby came to me this morning and said I'm kinda confused
She said "If me and B.B. king was both drownin',
Which one would you choose?"
And I said "Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Oh Baby,
I ain't never heard you play no blues"

Found on
o Somebody Elses Trouble
o The Original Steve Goodman

When I first met you baby you fed me on chicken and wine
It was steak and potatoes and lobster and babe I sure felt fine
But now all you ever give me is seaweed and alfalfa sprouts
And sunflower seeds and Igot my doubts
You left me here with the Chicken Cordon Bleus

My stomach is empty and all I got is food for thought
I been up all nite thinkin' 'bout the twenty pounds of groceries we bought
We bought ten lbs of brown rice and five more of beans
And five pounds of granola and you know what that means,
I'm just a regular fella with the Chicken Cordon Bleus

I'm starved for affection and I don't think I can stand no more
This stuff is so wierd that the cock roaches moved next door
Can you see that old dog out in the street
He's got a big smile on his face
Cause they let him meat
Babe I got the lemon and the Chicken Cordon Bleus

(spoken)

Yeah I'm goin down to the baker and get me a cannoli.
and Maybe a chocolate eclaire would be nice...

o Found on Somebody Elses Trouble
o The Original Steve Goodman

The Vegetable Song (the Barnyard dance)
A Carl Martin Song.

It was late one nite by the pale moonlight
all the vegetables gave a spree;
they put out a sign that said the dancing's at nine
and all the admission was free,
there was peas and greens and cabbage and beans
it was the biggest crowd you ever did see;
and when mister cucumber struck up that number
you should have heard those vegetables screams
Oh little turnip top was doin' the backwards flop
the cabbage is doin' the shimmy, she couldn't stop
the little red beet shook its feet
and the watermelon died of the cockeyed heat;
little tomato, agitator, shook the shimmy with the sweet potato
and old man garlic dropped dead of the colic
down at the barnyard dance
late this morning.
down at the barnyard dance.

(intrumental bridge)
(in a falseto voice)

Oh little turnip top was doin' the backwards flop
the cabbage is doin' the shimmy, she couldn't stop
the little red beet shook its feet
and the watermelon died of the cockeyed heat;

(normal voice)

little tomato, agitator, shook the shimmy with the sweet potato
and old man garlic dropped dead of the colic
down at the barnyard dance
late this morning.
down at the barnyard...
late this morning.
down at the barnyard dance.

o Found on Somebody Elses Trouble
o The Original Steve Goodman

Lincoln Park Pirates

Steve Goodman

In Chicago where I live, there's a... there's a outfit that'll tow just almost anything off the streets but they deal mostly in automobile. and we call 'em the Lincoln Park Pirates*.

The street lamps are on in Chicago tonite
and lovers are gazin at stars, the stores are all closin'
and Daley is dozin' and the fatman is counting the car;
There's more cars than places to put 'em he said
but I got room for them all, so round 'em up boys
I want some more toys, hit the lot by the grocery store

(chorus)

--to me--

WAY HEY TOW'EM AWAY
The Lincoln Park pirates are we; from Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy and we always collect our fee
WAY-HEY tow 'em away we plunder the streets of your town,
be it Edsel or Chevy, there's no car to heavy
And no one can make us shut down.

We break into cars when we gotta
with pick axe and hammer and saw,
they said this garage had no license
but little care i for the law
all my drivers are freindly and courteous;
their good manners you always will get
for they all are recent graduates from the charm scholl in Joliet

(chorus)

And when all of the cars are collected,
and all of their fenders are ruined
then I'll tow every boat in belmont harbor to the Licoln park Lagoon
and when I've collected the ransom and sunk all the ones that won't yield
then i'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways
at midway, O'Hare and Meigs Field

--to me--

WAY HEY TOW'EM AWAY
The Lincoln Park pirates are we; from Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy and we always collect our fee
Way hey, tow 'em away, -- Citizens Gather around
I think its enough and lets call his bluff
Yeah lets throw the bum out of town.

o Found on Somebody Elses Trouble
o The Original Steve Goodman
o The Steve Goodmann Anthology

Note:
The Lincoln Towing Company is a comapny that provided towing service to private businesses primarily on the near north, northwest side of Chicago, an area which included Rush Street and Wrigley Field. Rush Street was and still is considered a center for social night life. It is often invaded by the suburbs and surrounding communities on the week ends and parking become a major problem. Lincoln Towing was brutal in its methods of towing vehicles and was suspected of towing any vehicle, whether it was legally parked or not. It also charged one of the highest inpounding fees known at the time of this song. This song brought the towing situation to light in the city. Business quickly realized they were losing customers due to the operation of Lincoln towing as well as other companies, and legislation was introduced in the City Council to bring the towing companies under stricter regulations. (Yes Lincoln towing operated for quite some time without a license.) So in many ways the people of Chicago owe the improved towing regulations to Steve Goodman.

Note
The Charm School at Joliet refers to the Joliet Maximum Security Prison. Made famous by Joliet Jake (John Belushi) of the Blues Brothers. While the song makes a joking comment about the status of the tow truck drivers, it is a fact that a high percentage of the drivers were ex-cons. They were hired simply because the towing companies could pay them less.

Six Hours Ahead Of The Sun

One more night in a transatlantic city
the clocks all run on someone elses time
and the streets run so close to the houses
but none of them run into mine
and the people are all in a hurry
and the whiskey's as cheap as the beer
and the skyline looks just like that postcard I sent you
and darlin' I wish you were here.
Some folks travel for pleasure
and other folks just born to roam
Some folks can't stand the pressure and some folks never come home
I only go where I have to go and I only come home when I'm done
and If everything's right I'll be home Friday night
Six Hours ahead of the sun.
One more night in a transatlantic city
you buy one round for everyone in sight
you order up the same old glass of trouble
but trouble just don't taste the same tonight
and the local bartender tells you the stories
and the local lovelies dance before your eyes
and they call that dance old "Younger's Tartan"
and I can't get all this blood out of my eyes
Some folks drink when they're happy
Some folks drink when they're dry
Some folks drinks so they don't have to think
and some folks drink till they dies:
Drinking just gives me amnesia
but the devil has a list of those who run
run, win, place, and show
and nowhere to go, and six hours ahead of the sun.

o Found on Somebody Elses Trouble
o The Original Steve Goodman

Don't Do Me Any Favors

If I thought for just one moment I could take you at your word
I'd let you in on almost anything I see
but you been caught in the act of spreading secrets that you heard
and they got a way of gettin' back to me

(chorus)

Total strangers come and tell me my life story
telling me where I went wrong
on things I've never done before;
and it's one kind of favor I'd be asking you
don't do me any favors anymore

I've been accused of being ragged and unholy
I guess I've been called most every name except dead;
but it would take ten strong men
a hundered years of running loose and wild
to live up to all the stories that you spread.

(chorus)

o Found on Somebody Elses Trouble
o The Original Steve Goodman

Eight Ball Blues
(S. Goodman)
Well I wish I had some memories
That I'd keep inside my trunk
I wish I had a nickel for every beer I've drunk
And I wish I had me a sailing ship
That'd take me over the sea.
I wish I could talk you in to coming home with me
Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
but I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Well I saw it in the Jail House
and I saw in the War
and I saw it my mirror
Well just a couple of times before
I wish I was the Candyman
sweet as I could be
In every town the ladies hang 'round
Just to get a taste of me
Iwish I was an opry star
Or had me a Ph. D.
I wish I had the common sense
to be satisfied with me
Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
but I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Well I saw it in the Jail House
and I saw in the War
Well I saw it my mirror
Well just a couple of times before
(instrumental)
I wish I had a magic pocket, That'd keep all my money in
I wish I knew a good excuse for all of my mortal sins
Well they say 'to know the best in life, you gotta know the worst
I wish that I had been the clown, who thought up that one first
Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
But I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Hey, I saw it in the Jail House
and I saw in the War
Well I saw it in the mirror
A couple of times before
Let me tell you
I saw it in the Jail House
it was on the post office door
and I saw it on my mirror
a couple of times before
Good People I saw it in the jail house
Saw it in the war
lord I saw it in the mirror ....fade

Frank And Lola

Frank and Lola

By: Jimmy Buffett, Steve Goodman
1982

"Lucy and Ricky, Fred and Ethel, Laurel and Hardy, Spanky
and Buckwheat, Rocky and Bullwinkle, and Frank and Lola...
they're all good for a laugh."

Lola loves Frank, Frankie loves Lola
On their second honeymoon in Pensacola
Tryin' to find a little privacy
Oh me there been too much screamin', fussin' and fightin'
The doggies were yellin', the children were bitin'
Frank and Lola tryin' to get together again

So he took her to this movie called "Body Heat"
She said the Junior Mints were mushy and the sex was neat
Oh my, Frankie weren't we better than that, before our spat
Frank told Lola, honey can't you see
That I'll jump start you if you'll kick start me
Frank and Lola tryin' to get together again

So they strolled along the highway, they walked along the beach
They stopped at several raw bars where they slurped a dozen each
Bought a bunch of popcorn from the fat man on the dock
Baby turn back the pages, turn 'round the clock

Lola told Frankie time we put it to the test
After Frankie told Lola she was still the best
They fell asleep in the sand underneath the Florida moon, in June
Lola counted rainbows, Frankie counted sheep
'Til they almost got run over by the lifeguard's Jeep
Frank and Lola tryin' to get together again

Go, Frank, go
Lo la, lo
Go, Frank, go, wow

(instrumental)

So they strolled along the highway, they walked along the beach
Stopped at several raw bars where they slurped a dozen each
Bought a bunch of popcorn from the fat man on the dock
Baby turn back the pages, turn 'round the clock

Lola loves Frank, Frankie loves Lola
On their second honeymoon in Pensacola
Tryin' to find a little priva-
Tryin' to find a little priva-
Tryin' to find a little privacy

Go, Frank, go
Lo la, lo
Go, Mango

- Notes:

Featuring the harmonica of "Fingers" Taylor

Woman Goin' Crazy On Caroline Street

By: Jimmy Buffett, Steve Goodman

1975

Chorus:
There's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline Street
Stoppin' every man that she does meet
Sayin' if you'll be gentle if you'll be sweet
I'll show you my place on Caroline Street

She claimed in a loud voice to be a dancer
But I don't think she's cut a rug in years
Listens to the jukebox for her answers
Slowly guzzles twenty-five cent beers

Talks about the men she's known and then some
She's seen them in her dreams and on the street
She slides her dapper legs from beneath the table
As if to reveal some kind of treat

Chorus:
There's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline Street
Stoppin' every man that she does meet
Sayin' if you'll be gentle if you'll be sweet
I'll show you my place on Caroline Street

Her lover left her stranded in Jamaica
Just right now she can't recall his name
Perceiving she's the center of attention
And all the lurking eyes they look the same

Weather's got the shrimpers in a frenzy
They're horny and don't need a good excuse
Someone yells and things just start erupting
And in a flash all hell has broken loose

Chorus:
There's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline Street
Stoppin' every man that she does meet
Sayin' if you'll be gentle if you'll be sweet
I'll show you my place on Caroline Street

(instrumental)

When I woke up and looked around the barroom
She was gone and I was black and blue
So be careful when you go to swing your partner
Someone just might take a swing at you

Chorus:
There's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline Street
Stoppin' every man that she does meet
Sayin' if you'll be gentle if you'll be sweet
I'll show you my place on Caroline Street

Yeah there's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline Street
Stoppin' every man that she does meet
Sayin' if you'll be gentle if you'll be sweet
I'll show you my place on Caroline Street

There's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline Street
Stoppin' every man that she does meet ...

Banana Republics

Down to the Banana Republics, down to the tropical sun
Go the expatriated Americans, hopin' to find some fun
Some of them go for the sailing, caught by the lure of the sea
Tryin' to find what is ailing, livin' in the land of the free

Some of them are running from lovers, leaving no foreward address
Some of them are running marijuana
Some are running from the I.R.S.

Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In the cheap hotels and bars
Hustling the senioritas while they dance beneath the stars
Spending those renegade pesos on a bottle of rum and a lime
Singin' give me some words I can dance to
Or a melody that rhymes

First you learn the native customs
soon a word of spanish or two
You know that you cannot trust them
'Cause they know they can't trust you
Expatriated Americans feelin' so all alone
Telling themselves the same lies
That they told themselves back home

Down to the Banana Republics, things aren't as warm as they seem
None of the natives are buying any second-hand American dreams

Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In the cheap hotels and bars
Hustling the senioritas while they dance beneath the stars
Spending those renegade pesos on a bottle of rum and a lime
Singin' give me some words I can dance to
Or a melody that rhymes

Down to the Banana Republics, down to the tropical sun
Go the expatriated Americans hopin' to find some fun

This Hotel Room

By: Steve Goodman

1975

Oh this hotel room's gotta lotta stuff
Laundry bag and a shoe shine cloth
Thirty two hangers and a touch tone phone
Well a light that comes on when I ain't home

I ain't home
I ain't home
You better leave a message 'cause
I ain't home

They got an air conditioner for when I'm hot
A radiator for when I'm not
Two big chairs sittin' side by side
With a holy bible and the TV Guide

TV Guide
The TV Guide
Great God Almighty
It's the TV Guide

I gotta second story view from curb to curb
I gotta sign that reads "Do Not Disturb"
A monogrammed towel and a bucket of ice
A chest of drawers and a mirror that lies

Mirror that lies
A mirror that lies
That couldn't be me
In the gorilla disguise (Variant: In that mirror that lies)

They got a room service menu for food and drink
A porcelain throne and an aluminum sink
Two big pillows to rest my head
A Magic Fingers and a king-size bed

Put in a quarter
Turn out the light
Magic Fingers makes ya feel alright
Oh feel alright
Feel alright
Magic Fingers makes you feel alright

Oh this ol' hotel's all right with me
They pay the postage if you lose the key
This hotel room's gotta lot of stuff
But I do believe I've had enough

Called my baby said don't you pout
I'm packin' my bags and I'm checkin' out
Just as soon as you hang up the telephone
Stick a candle in the window I'm comin' home

Comin' home
Oh comin' home
Stick a candle in the window
I'm comin' home

Whoa comin' home
Comin' home
Stick a candle in the window
I'm comin' home

Elvis Imitators

By: Steve Goodman, Michael Smith
1981

NOTE*

Well....
I walk up to the mike and and then I shake my hips
I take a deep breath and put a snare on my lips
See me on the street you wouldn't know my name
But imitating Elvis is my claim to fame
So when you put my imitation name in lights
There'll be imitation good rockin' tonight

Cuz I'm an an Elvis imitator and I just can't stop
Imitating Elvis from the bottom to the top
Imitate the way he talked, the way he smiled
I throw away my scarf and make the crowd go wild
This imitation Elvis may not be the King
But baby I'm the next best thing

Singing Viva Las Vegas and the G.I. Blues
Won't you Love Me Tender in my Blue Suede Shoes
Well let me be your teddy bear, if you must
Oh baby Please Surrender, 'cause I need your touch
Well if you feelin' lonely, need a place to dwell
Come on down to imitation heartbreak hotel

Chorus:
We're gonna rock (rock rock rock)
Ooooh we're gonna rock (rock rock rock)
Ooooh we're gonna rock (rock rock rock)
Ooooh we're gonna rock (rock rock rock)

In my gold lame (pronounced lah--'may) cape and my sequined suit
Pompadou haircut and my high-heeled boots
Imitating Elvis is the only way
I can make it through my imitation day
I know this rocking music can't be denied
'Cause I was imitating him before he died

Well I'm an an Elvis imitator and I just can't stop
Imitating Elvis from the bottom to the top
I imitate the way he walked, the way he smiled
I throw away my scarf and make the crowd go wild
This imitation Elvis may not be the king
But baby I'm the next best thing

Chorus:
Yeah rock (rock rock rock)
Ooooh we're gonna rock (rock rock rock)
Ooooh we're gonna rock (rock rock rock)
Ooooh we're gonna rock (rock rock rock)

Well baby ... it's the next ... best thing Note* Jimmy Buffett originally recorded this song as Freddy and the Fish Sticks. As Goodman put it:"He was too embarrassed to record it under his real name!" It was later rereleased on the Buffett Compilation: Boats, Beaches, Bars, Ballads Steve Goodman released a far superior live version on Affordable Art, and No Big Surprise

Letter to the Penthouse Forum

Steve Goodman

Dear Penthoue,
I never did beleive anything I ever read in your magazine until just the other night.
When something happen to me that was so strange that I felt compelled to share it with your readers
I'm a student at State-U
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. It was one year ago tonight that My room mate Stupendous dork and I were sittin around the dorm poppin a few frostys and burning some rope, and boning up for the Speech therapy midterm exam the next day by reading back issues of your magazine out loud to each other.
I looked at Stu and he looked at me and we both knew neither of us was going to get a realgood grade on that exam anyway. We hopped out out of the dorm and when across the street to Herbie's Tumble Inn.
Right across from the dorm there, we came thru the swinging doors and I couldn't beleive my eyes, there they were sitting at the the bar, these two lucious babes, and they were siamese twins
I looked at Stu and he looked at me and we looked at them and they looked at us and then one of the twins said "won't You join us" and I just laughed and we went and sat down at the bar.
Turns out one if the ladies was a speech therapy major. And her sister said she had some rope in her purse there and a big light bulb went off in my head and I said "What the Heck why don't we all go back to the Dorm?"
Came out of the swingin doors at herbies and couldn't get across the street.
There was these 30 bikers with jackets that said Harley Aristocrats on the back, there was an Aerobic dance class and there was the commanding officer of the campus ROTC pushing a Nautilus machine right down the double yellow line I said "what the Heck, why don't we all go back to the dorm?"
The last thing I remember is one of the twins screaming "Hey general put your big heat seeking missile in my love silo!"
I got my degree in spite of failing speech therapy that quarter. Last night for the first time in a year, my room mate Stupendous Dork went back to Herbies to toast our Commencement. Came thru the swingin doors and there they were at the bar, the same two siamese twins and I said "Oh no" and I went and sat down a table.
The Twins came over to the table and the one that was a speech therapy major looked my right in the eye and said "Excuse me you probalby don't remember us."
Name and Address withheld by request

Never recorded, oft bootlegged, many other similar versions.

The Dutchman

Written by Mike Smith, see information at bottom of song.

The Dutchman's not the kind of man
Who keeps his thumb jammed in the dam
That holds his dreams in,
But that's a secret that only Margaret knows.
When Amsterdam is golden in the summer,
Margaret brings him breakfast,
She believes him.
He thinks the tulips bloom beneath the snow.
He's mad as he can be, but Margaret only sees that sometimes,
Sometimes she sees her unborn children in his eyes.
Let us go to the banks of the ocean
Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee.
Long ago, I used to be a young man
And dear Margaret remembers that for me.
The Dutchman still wears wooden shoes,
His cap and coat are patched with the love
That Margaret sewed there.
Sometimes he thinks he's still in Rotterdam.
And he watches the tug-boats down canals
An' calls out to them when he thinks he knows the Captain.
Till Margaret comes
To take him home again
Through unforgiving streets that trip him, though she holds his arm,
Sometimes he thinks he's alone and he calls her name.
Let us go to the banks of the ocean
Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee.
Long ago, I used to be a young man
And dear Margaret remembers that for me.
The winters whirl the windmills 'round
She winds his muffler tighter
And they sit in the kitchen.
Some tea with whiskey keeps away the dew.
And he sees her for a moment, calls her name,
She makes the bed up singing some old love song,
A song Margaret learned
When it was very new.
He hums a line or two, they sing together in the dark.
The Dutchman falls asleep and Margaret blows the candle out.
Let us go to the banks of the ocean
Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee.
Long ago, I used to be a young man
And dear Margaret remembers that for me.

Steve Goodman

A traveling salesman stopped for gas, as it was getting late.
He sure was getting tired, and it was snowing on the Interstate.
He says, "Will you fill her up, my friend, and see if my oil's alright,
And do you know a place where a tired-out traveling man might spend the night?"

The attendant winked at him and says, "I'll bet you've been around.
Well the man who puts up lodgers here is known as Farmer Brown.
You'll find him in that old stone house that's just at the edge of town,
And he has a fifteen-year-old daughter who likes to fool around."

The salesman winked right back at him and a smile came to his lips.
He paid for the gas and the oil and then he gave that man a tip.
He started out and pushed that old gas pedal down to the floor.
He was off like a bat and in nothing flat he was at the farmer's door.

The door opened up and a beautiful girl says, "Won't you come on it?"
That traveling salesman's tongue was hanging out like Rin-Tin-Tin.
"That old gas station attendant said I would find you here,
And do you have a suitable room you could rent to me, my dear?"

"Alas, kind sir, I'm sorry but the last one's gone, you see.
So if you want to spend the night, you'll have to sleep with me."
He says, "How fortuitous, my pretty little miss!"
And he throws his arms around her and he gives that girl a kiss.

Now her warm and tender ruby lips he scarcely could believe,
And he never saw the hammer she had hidden up her sleeve.
She said, "I'm geting sleepy. It's time to go to bed."
And as they turned to climb the stairs she whupped him on the head.

The very next day, the salesman's car, with brand new license plates
Was sitting at Farmer Brown's Gas Station out on the Interstate.
So all you traveling salesmen who might be passing through,
Better watch your step or the traveling salesman joke will be on you!

Vegematic

Steve Goodman

Fell asleep last night with the T-V on. Oh, what a dream I had.
I dreamed I answered every single one of those late night mail order ads.
And four to six weeks later, much to my surprise,
The mailman came to my front door, and I couldn't believe my eyes
When he brought the Vegematic, and the Pocket Fisherman too,
Illuminated illustrated history of life,
And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife,
A bamboo steamer, and a Garden Weasel too,
And a tie-dyed, dayglow souvenir shirt from Six Flags Over Burbank.

The doorbell rang all morning and into the afternoon.
I shook with fright as it rang all night to the light of the Master Card moon.
There was Parcel Post in the pantry, and UPS in the hall,
C O D's to the ceiling, and I just couldn't pay for it all.

I got the egg scrambler, with a Seal-a-Meal carrying case,
A set of presidential commemorative plates
So I could eat my eggs off the President's face,
A Minute Mender, and a needle that'll knit or crochet,
And an autographed photograph of Rin Tin Tin at Six Flags Over Burbank.

(same chords as 2nd verse:)

I remembered I was dreaming, so I gave a mighty cheer.
When I awoke, it was no joke, 'cause all that shit was here.
So if you fall asleep with the TV on, let me tell you what to do:
Tear the telephone out of the wall unless you want it to happen to you.
You'll get the Vegematic, and the Pocket Fisherman too,
Illuminated illustrated history of life,
And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife,
A bamboo steamer, and a smokeless ashtray too

And an all expenses paid weekend for three at Six Flags Over Burbank.

Watching Joey Glow

Steve Goodman

Down here in the shelter, we've got everything we need.
Mom put up her peach preserves, Pa's got a book to read.
Sister knits some bandages, and we turn the lights down low
And play some Scrabble, watching Joey glow.

At breakfast Mom hands Joe the bread, and he turns it into toast.
Last night he hugged a leg of lamb, and soon we had a roast.
You should see him heat the coffee up when he stirs it with his toe.
We all get hungry, watching Joey glow.

(BREAK:)

You have to wear dark glasses if you look at him a while,
Or he'll fry your little eyes out with his incandescant smile.

At Chistmastime, it sure felt strange, but it was great to see
The way we decorated Joe as if he was our tree,
And his star was shining brightly underneath the mistletoe,
So we blew him kisses, watching Joey glow.

(BREAK:)

I hope the world's not over, for my sake and for his.
I'd love for everyone to know how brilliant Joey is.

We've been down here for six months now, and we're proud to be alive.
We owe it to America to sit here and survive.
So we listen to the static on the short wave radio
And count the shock waves, watching Joey glow.

Yellow Coat

Steve Goodman

It's a long time since I saw you last
So tell me how you've been
Did you ever get to buy that yellow coat?
Do the flowers in you window box
Still smile when you walk in?
Did you read the letters that I wrote?
And I've been on the road since Christmas
But it don't seem so long
Outside of that there isn't much to say.
I cut down on my drinkin' some
And wrote another song
I wish you wouldn't look at me that way
Remember all the mornings
We'd walk around the park
The nights we babysat for Billy's kids
And all the times we used to talk
Of having one ourselves
I don't remember why we never did
Do the neighbors still complain a bit
When the music gets too loud?
Does your old cat still sleep up on the bed?
And do you still walk around
With your head up in the clouds?
Have you heard a single thing I've said?
It's a two day drive to New York
Guess I'd better go
Have you noticed the weather's gettin' cold?
And it's a long time since I saw you last
Tell me how you've been
Did you ever get to buy that yellow coat?
Did you ever get to buy that yellow coat?

California PromisesSteve Goodman, 1983

Beneath the moonlit sky
Shadows walk beside the water
Sad goodbye whispered on the shore
Hear those wind chimes play
They serenade the shadow lovers
Ring and fade away
Like California promises

I will never love another
Wait for me, 'til I return
But she never will
He waits for her beside the water
Faithful still
To California promises

(guitar solo)

I will never love another
Wait for me, 'til I return
Though she never will
He waits for her beside the water
Faithful still
To California promises

(guitar solo)

- Notes:
Guitar solo: Earl Klugh
Background Vocals: Rita Coolidge, David Lasley, Arnold McCuller

How Much Tequila (Did I Drink Last Night)

by Steve Goodman and John Prine

How much tequila did I drink last night?
It's really anybody's guess.
I poured them so fast, I couldn't keep them in the glass,
But this morning I sure am a mess.
My head is four or five times its normal size
And I got this big old cactus stuck between my eyes.
I can't recall a single thing I did or said
Or the names of all these people sleeping in this bed.
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?

How did I get these cuts and bruises all over my body?
I must have fallen down somehow.
I believe it had something to do with karate --
It's all coming back to me now.
I was standing in a bar with King Kong's cousin,
He must have been seven foot three.
His elbow gave me a bump, and so I said "Hey, chump,
Would you like to step outside with me?"
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?

(Break:)

My mouth is filled with cotton and my brain is sore.
I left last night's dinner on this morning's floor.
My stomach is swollen and my eyeballs shrunk.
I drank so much that my hair got drunk.

I see a big old worm about ten feet long
Hallucinating purple cows.
Somebody moved the furniture while I was gone.
Uh oh, this is not my house.
I could call us a taxi on the telephone
If I only knew where we are.
I guess I'm gonna have to drive myself back home
As soon as I can find the car.
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night

Where's The Party

By: Steve Goodman, Jimmy Buffett, B. LaBounty
1981

Every night the stars come out to light another town
Just because I'm lonely doesn't mean that gets me down
I cruise the local drive-in watchin' lovers holdin' hands
Like movie stills of Coupe de Villes and Japanese sedans

Chorus:
Where's the party?
Where's the party?
Everybody I know say they expect me to go to the party

Sometimes I wish the radio would learn another song
I'd stay at home and watch TV if there was somethin' on
Ooh but why should I get all dressed up when there's no place to go
Still everybody looks at me as if they think I know

Chorus:
Where's the party?
Where's the party?
Everybody I see say they expect to see me at the party

I could stay here all night long
Wait for her to call
Or I could put my Walkman on
And never care at all

Still every night the stars come out to light another town
And just because I'm lonely doesn't mean that gets me down

Chorus:
Where's the party?
Where's the party?
Everybody I know say they'd expect her to show at the party

Note: Also appears on Jimmy Buffett's "Somewhere over China"

It's Midnight And I'm Not Famous Yet
By: Steve Goodman, Jimmy Buffett
1981

Catch the elevator from the penthouse suite
And take it down to the casino
The god-almighty sound of money movin' round
Can be heard all the way to Reno

Chorus:
Well it's midnight and I'm not famous yet
Tryin' to win it all with one more bet
Nothin' can stop my thirty-two hop
Or my ten dollar yo yo yo
It's midnight, I'm just gettin' ready to roll

(Midnight)
Now Lester Polyester signs another marker
Like the high rollers do
Seven come eleven
His brand new baby needs Gucci shoes

Chorus:
Well it's midnight she's not famous yet
Tryin' to break the bank with one more bet
Nothin' can stop my thirty-two hop
Or my ten dollar yo yo yo
It's midnight, Lester's gettin' ready to roll

Midnight (midnight)
Midnight

(instrumental)

(Midnight)
They're pagin' someone we know, Lester hits a keno
He's not leavin' yet
Vacuum cleaners hummin' lounge act still is strummin'
It's their twenty-fourth set
Well it's midnight they're not famous yet
Tryin' to win it all with one more bet
Nothin' can stop my thirty-two hop
Or my ten dollar yo yo yo
It's midnight, got nowhere to go (Oh oh)

Midnight (midnight)
(Oh oh oh)
Midnight (midnight)

(Oh oh oh, Midnight)
(Oh oh oh, Midnight)
(Oh oh oh, Midnight)
(Oh oh oh)

Note:
Never officially released by Goodman;
appears on Jimmy Buffett's "Somewhere Over China"