S omebody E lse's T roubles

LP cover

  1. The Dutchman
  2. Six Hours Ahead Of The Sun
  3. Song For David
  4. Chicken Cordon Blues
  5. Somebody Else's Troubles
  6. The Loving Of The Game
  7. I Ain't Heard You Play No Blues
  8. Don't Do Me Any Favors Anymore
  9. The Vegetable Song (The Banyard dance)
  10. Lincoln Park Pirates
  11. The Ballad Of Penny Evans
  12. Election Year Rag



The Dutchman

The Dutchman's not the kind of man
Who keeps his thumb jammed in the dam
That holds his dreams in,
But that's a secret that only Margaret knows.

When Amsterdam is golden in the summer,
Margaret brings him breakfast,
She believes him.
He thinks the tulips bloom beneath the snow.

He's mad as he can be, but Margaret only sees that sometimes,
Sometimes she sees her unborn children in his eyes.

Let us go to the banks of the ocean
Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee.
Long ago, I used to be a young man
And dear Margaret remembers that for me.

The Dutchman still wears wooden shoes,
His cap and coat are patched with the love
That Margaret sewed there.
Sometimes he thinks he's still in Rotterdam.

And he watches the tug-boats down canals
An' calls out to them when he thinks he knows the Captain.
Till Margaret comes
To take him home again

Through unforgiving streets that trip him, though she holds his arm,
Sometimes he thinks he's alone and he calls her name.

Let us go to the banks of the ocean
Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee.
Long ago, I used to be a young man
And dear Margaret remembers that for me.

The winters whirl the windmills 'round
She winds his muffler tighter
And they sit in the kitchen.
Some tea with whiskey keeps away the dew.

And he sees her for a moment, calls her name,
She makes the bed up singing some old love song,
A song Margaret learned
When it was very new.

He hums a line or two, they sing together in the dark.
The Dutchman falls asleep and Margaret blows the candle out.

Let us go to the banks of the ocean
Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee.
Long ago, I used to be a young man
And dear Margaret remembers that for me.


Six Hours Ahead Of The Sun

One more night in a transatlantic city
And the clocks all run on someone else's time
And the streets run so close to the houses,
But none of them run into mine.

And the people are all in a hurry
And the whiskey's as cheap as the beer.
And that skyline looks just like that postcard I sent you,
And darling, I wish that you were here.

Some folks travel for pleasure
And other folks just born to roam.
Some folks can't stand the pressure
And some of them never come home.

And I only go where I have to go
And I only come home when I'm done.
And if everything's right, then I'll be home Friday night,
Six hours ahead of the sun.

One more night in a transatlantic city
And you buy one round for everyone in sight
And you order up the same old glass of trouble
But trouble just don't taste the same tonight.

And the local bartender tells you all the stories
And the local lovelies dance before your eyes.
And they call that dance old "Younger's Tartan"
And I can't get all this mud out of my eyes.

Some folks drink when they're happy,
Other folks drink when they're dry.
Some folks drink so they won't have to think
And some other drink until they die.

But drinking just gives me amnesia
But the devil has a list of those who run.
Run, win, place, and show, and nowhere to go,
And six hours ahead of the sun.

Run, win, place, and show and nowhere to go,
And six hours ahead of the sun.


Song For David

Weary though weary is only a case
Of being unwound at the wrong time and place.
David put down his head and he covered his face,
He asked himself why he had bothered to race
With the sun.

He thought that standing still would have been a mistake.
He knew all along the risks he would take.
Can't help thinking that the whole thing's fake
And the race was fixed long before it had
Even been run.

He knew the sun sets a treacherous pace
That only madmen try to erase -
You can race it, you can chase it, for one moment,
But then you let go.

It's too hot to hold
For too long I've been told,
Besides, that old sun is just lucky
And so

Weary, though weary is only a case
Of being unwound at the wrong time and place.
David put down his head and he covered his face,
He asked himself why he had bothered to race
With the sun.

David knew who had won
And he waited for dawn.


Chicken Cordon Blues

When I first met you baby, you fed me on chicken and wine.
It was steak and potatoes and lobster and babe I sure felt fine.
But now all you ever give me is seaweed and alfalfa sprouts
And sunflower seeds and I got my doubts -
Babe, you left me here with the Chicken Cordon Bleus.

My stomach's so empty and all I got is food for thought.
And I been sittin' here thinkin' 'bout the twenty lbs. of groceries we bought.
We bought ten lbs. of brown rice and five more of beans
And five pounds of Granola and you know what that means,
I'm just a regular fella with the Chicken Cordon Bleus.

Now won't you play me them fat licks!

You know, I'm starved for affection and babe, I can take no more.
You know this stuff is so weird that the cockroaches moved next door.
Babe, can you see that old dog, he's out in the street
He's got a big smile on his face 'cause they let him meat.
And babe I got the lemon and the Chicken Cordon Bleus!

Babe, I'm goin down to the bakery
And I'm going to find me a jelly roll
And some cannoli.
Some French pastry.
A chocolate éclair don't sound too bad.
How about some lasagna ?
You know fat is where it's at.
My shadow disappears ...


Somebody Else's Troubles

Yesterday I went downtown and saw an old-time picture show
And the hero got a pie in the face.
He didn't like that and he stormed around the screen,
But everybody else was laughin' in that place.

That's cause it ain't hard to get along with somebody else's troubles
And they don't make you lose any sleep at night
As long as fate is out there burstin' somebody else's bubbles.
Everything is gonna be alright.
And everything is gonna be alright.

Did you ever pay for something that you didn't do ?
And did you ever figure out the reason why ?
And when the doctor says this gonna hurt me a lot more than this hurts you,
Did you ever figure out that that's a lie ?

He knows it ain't too hard to get along with somebody else's troubles
And they don't make you lose any sleep at night
As long as fate is out there burstin'somebody' else's bubbles.
Everything is gonna be alright.
And everything will be alright.

And I saw the boss come a-walkin' down along the factory line,
He said, "We all have to tighten up our belts."
But he didn't look any thinner than he did a year ago
And I wonder just how hungry that man felt.

He knows it ain't too hard to get along with somebody else's troubles,
They don't make you lose any sleep at night.
Just as long as fate is out there burstin'somebody' else's bubbles.
Everything is gonna be alright.
And everything is gonna be alright.

So I asked the undertaker what it took to make him laugh
When all he ever saw is people cryin'.
First he hands me a bunch of flowers that he'd received on my behalf
He said, "Steve, business just gets better all the time."

And it ain't too hard it to get along with somebody else's troubles,
They don't make you lose any sleep at night.
As long as fate is out there burstin' somebody else's bubbles
Everything is gonna be alright.
And everything is gonna alright.


The Lovin' Of The Game

I saw the feather river glide over shining golden sand,
Struck a silver ribbon wide, held a million in my hand.
But beside the lookin' for, well the findin' is always tame
And there's nothing drives a gambler like the lovin' of the game.

All my life I ran around searching hard from town to town
But I never ever found anything to tie me down.
Still I wouldn't trade by time for a solid diamond claim
No, I would not trade a fortune for the lovin' of the game.

So long, darling, don't you cry, I hope that things pan out for you,
All the good times going by, got to have ourselves a few.
Where I'm going has no end, what I'm seeking has no name.
No, the treasure's not the takin', it's the lovin' of the game.
No, the treasure's not the takin', it's the lovin' of the game.


The I Ain't Heard You Play No Blues

My baby came to me this morning
And said I'm kinda confused
She said, "If me and B.B. king was both drownin',
Which one would you choose ?"

I said, "Oh, baby,"
I said, "Oh, baby,"
I said, "Oh, baby,
Baby, I ain't never heard you play no blues!"


Don't Do Me Any Favors Anymore

If I thought just one moment I could take you at your word
I'd let you in on almost anything I see,
But you been caught in the act of spreading secrets that you heard,
And they got a way of getting back to me.

Total strangers come and tell me my life story,
Telling me where I went wrong on things I've never done before.
And it's one kind favor I'd be asking you;
Don't do me any favors anymore.

I've been accused of being ragged and unholy,
I guess I've been called most every name except dead.
But it would take ten strong men a hundred years of running loose and wild
To live up to all the stories that you spread.

Total strangers come and tell me my life story,
Telling me where I went wrong on things I've never done before.
And it's one kind favor I'd be asking you,
Don't do me any favors anymore.

Total strangers come and tell me my life story,
Telling me where I went wrong on things I've never done before.
And it's one kind favor I'd be asking you,
Don't do me any favors,

Don't do me any favors,
Don't do me any favors anymore.


The Vegetable Song (The Barnyard Dance)

It was late one night by the pale moonlight
All the vegetables gave a spree.
They put out a sign that said, "The dancing's at nine"
And all the admissions were free.

There was peas and greens and cabbage and beans,
It was the biggest crowd you ever did see.
And when old man cucumber struck up that number
Well, you should have heard those vegetables scream.

Oh, the little turnip top was doin' the backwards flop,
The cabbage shook the shimmy and she could not stop.
The little red beet shook its feet,
The watermelon died of the cockeyed heat.

The little tomato, agitator,
Shook the shimmy with the sweet potato,
And old man garlic dropped dead of the colic
Down at the barnyard dance, this morning,
Down at the barnyard dance.

Oh the little turnip top was doin' the backwards flop,
The cabbage shook the shimmy, would not stop
The little red beet shook its feet,
The watermelon died of the cockeyed heat.

Little tomato, agitator,
Shook the shimmy with the sweet potato,
And old man garlic dropped dead of the colic
Down at the barnyard dance, this morning.

Down at the barnyard, late this morning.
Down at the barnyard dance.


The Lincoln Park Pirates

In Chicago where I live, there's a, there's an outfit that could tow almost anything off the street.
But they deal mostly with automobiles and we call 'em "The Lincoln Park Pirates".

The street lamps are on in Chicago tonight
And lovers, they're gazing at stars,
The stores are all closin' and Daley is dozin'
And the fat man is counting the car.

"And there's more cars than places to put 'em," he said
"But I got room for them all,
So round 'em up boys 'cause I want some more toys,
Hit the lot by the grocery store."

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
From Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy
And we always collect our fee.

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
We plunder the streets of your town,
Be it Edsel or Chevy,
There's no car to heavy
And no one can make us shut down.

We break into cars when we gotta,
With pick axe and hammer and saw,
And they said this garage had no license
But little care I for the law.

All my drivers are friendly and courteous;
Their good manners you always will get
For they all are recent graduates
Of the charm school in Joliet

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
From Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy
And we always collect our fee

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
We plunder the streets of your town,
Be it Edsel or Chevy,
There's no car too heavy
And no one can make us shut down.

And when all of the cars are collected,
And all of their fenders are ruined
Then I'll tow every boat in Belmont Harbor
To the Lincoln Park Lagoon.

And when I've collected the ransom
And sunk all the ones that won't yield,
Then I'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways
At Midway, O'Hare and Meigs Field

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
From Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy
And we always collect our fee.

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away,
"Now citizens Gather around
I think it's enough and let's call his bluff
Let's tow the bum out of town!"


The Ballad Of Penny Evans

Oh my name is Penny Evans and my age is twenty-one
A young widow in the war that's being fought in Viet Nam
And I have two infant daughters and I do the best I can
Now they say the war is over, but I think it's just begun.

And I remember I was seventeen on the day I met young Bill
At his father's grand piano, we'd play good old 'Heart and Soul'
Well, I only knew the left hand part and he the right so well
He's the only boy I ever slept with and the only one I will.

It's first we had a baby girl and we had two good years
It was next the 1A notice came and we parted without tears
It was nine months from our last good night our second babe appears
So it's ten months and a telegram confirming all our fears.

And now every month I get a check from an Army bureaucrat
And it's every month I tear it up and I mail the damn thing back.
Do you think that makes it all right, do you think I'd fall for that ?
And you can keep your bloody money, it sure won't bring my Billy back.

I never cared for politics, and speeches I don't understand,
And likewise never took no charity from any living man
But tonight there's fifty thousand gone in that unhappy land
And fifty thousand 'Heart and Soul's' being played with just one hand.

And my name is Penny Evans and I've just gone twenty-one
A young widow in the war that's being fought in Viet Nam
And I have two infant daughters and I thank God I have no sons
Now they say the war is over, but I think it's just begun.



Election Year Rag

Come on babe, won't you take a chance,
Your papa's gonna show you a brand new dance,
You shuffle on down, now don't you be no drag
And do that Election Year Rag.

You take two steps to the left and two steps to the right,
Then just land in the middle and you hang on tight.
Come on down now, don't feel mad,
You can do that Election Year Rag.

Jump on that old bandwagon,
Here's what you gonna do:
Go down to the Precinct Captain's house this morning
And scarf up some lame duck stew.

Well, don't you cry, don't shed no tears,
You know it only comes around every four years,
And I am your dark horse and you're my nag,
Do that Election Year Rag.

If you feel like you need a score card,
Well, you really don't have to fuss.
You know the winner's always somebody else
And the loser is always us.

And it's shake it to the East, shake it to the West,
Hand me down my bullet-proof vest.
It's nobody's choice and it's anybody's guess
And do that Election -

There ain't no selection,
And do that Election Year Rag.



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Last updated: November 14, 1995